Gripe No. 36: Random people’s dogs flirting with my discs

I don’t like dogs.

And I’m not shy about it.

The purpose of this blog isn’t to shock people – it’s not to get them angry or anything, either. Nevertheless, on occasion, as Green Splatter doesn’t shy away from opinion-sharing, it happens.

To date, however, the most furious reaction an article ever generated was this one. What was the edgy, in-your-face topic, you ask? It was a tongue-in-cheek opinion piece on the greater disc golf community’s (abnormal) obsession with Luke Humphries’ furry travel companion, Hogan.

I know, I know …

Hard-hitting stuff.

If THAT got your undies in a bundle, THIS probably will, too.

You’ve been warned.

Here’s a basic rundown of the situation with which I’ve got beef:

• I throw a disc at a park course.
• A nearby dog runs away from his owner to investigate.
• The dog then proceeds to sniff, lick or straight-up grab my disc with his teeth.

I’ll get over it …

It happens.

Here’s where my blood starts to boil …

Laughingly, the dog’s owner yells out something along the lines of, “No worries, man! She’s harmless!” I get that not everybody’s a disc golfer. Furthermore, there are people out there who are genuinely afraid of dogs. In my case, however, it’s not my safety I’m concerned about …

It’s the fact that my Star Destroyer is on the verge of becoming a chew toy. And the guy who’s responsible for this animal is more interested in me spending some one-on-one time with his dog than he is the well-being of my $20 frisbee. Never mind the fact that my previous lie is gonzo …

Dog mouths are gross.

And while the slobber and teeth marks might help break it in faster, given the spray-and-pray style of my game in the woods, I don’t need any help in that department. Filled to the brim with battle-proven plastic, a bag of frisbees is one of a disc golfer’s most prized possessions.

Please, I beg of you …

Keep your dog away from it.

As mentioned in previous articles, I understand the appeal of dog-ownership – and support it, too. Because of this, I’m fine with dogs on disc golf courses. In all seriousness, if you can’t take a dog to the park, where can you take it? All I ask is that you keep it on a leash, respect other people’s stuff and recognize that not everybody’s as infatuated with the furball as you are …

That goes for my discs, too.

I don’t want to pet him; I don’t want to know his name; I don’t want a quick meet-and-greet.

I want to play disc golf.

Keep your dog at a distance.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Have anything to add? Take to Twitter to let us know – we’ll actually (for real) get back to you.

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