Disc chargers.
Man, these things are dumb.
But for as stupid as they are, they’re everywhere.
If you’ve never heard the term before, here’s one in its natural habitat:
Basically, some high, drunk or low-IQ disc golfer places his disc on a hard surface like a tee sign or park bench, traces it with a Sharpie and then writes “charge here” inside of it. Oftentimes, you’ll see arrows or lightning bolts next to it – maybe even the occasional (penned) phallus.
The idea is that, while disc golfers wait to tee off on a hole, they can place their tool of choice inside of it, wait for a few seconds and all the positive ju-ju the universe can summon will somehow get injected directly into the frisbee, resulting in a jaw-dropping huck.
Eventually, I’m certain the Bogey Bros will subject this claim to scientific scrutiny for a future YouTube video. I mean, they did it for the whole “nice” thing, so more power to them.
I’ll watch.
But if you’ve got a tournament coming up and can’t wait that long, rest assured, in more than one instance, I’ve tested the disc charger for myself, and I’ve come to a rock-solid conclusion …
It doesn’t work.
Groundbreaking, I know.
There were times I had good shots, but just as many where I threw OB or nailed the first-available tree. And believe it or not, on one occasion, I even lost an I-Dye Champion Firebird immediately after joking about it happening. Trust me: That one still stings.
I suppose that’s the bad ju-ju rearing its ugly head.
Here’s what a disc charger is:
- Idiotic.
- Vandalism.
- Disrespectful.
And for the record, here is what it isn’t:
- Real.
- Funny.
- Clever.
Incredibly, with my own two ears, I’ve heard some interesting disc golfers defend these things as “part of the culture of the sport.” They’ll tell you they draw ‘em under benches or use a ballpoint pen, so they fade with time. This is both sad and sorry. And whatever you do, don’t buy into it.
You know what’s right. You know what’s wrong.
And if for some strange reason, you don’t …
This is the latter.
Also, the Earth isn’t flat.
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Editor’s Suggestions:
- Disc golf needs more fitted hats
- Gripe No. 66: Other disc golfers chatting by the basket
- Disc golf: The Factory Second disc I crave (but will never have)
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