Disc golf: I tried to get into bucket hats (it didn’t happen)

Bucket hats.

Fishermen and hip-hop artists.

Random, but those are the two groups most commonly associated with them. Bob Denver also had a good run with one for a bit as the beloved idiot on “Gilligan’s Island” in the late ‘60s.

But what about disc golf?

Back in 2022, Ricky Wysocki brought the bucket hat out of obscurity and made it one of the game’s then-hottest fashion trends. Two years later, he’s not nearly as devoted to the look as he once was, but that’s hardly prevented others from picking up where Mr. Sockibomb left off.

On occasion, Jeremy Koling will bust one out, which is saying a lot, as he’s known for an impressive collection of headwear. Calvin Heimburg’s been spotted in one, too, and the guy straight-up hates hats. Furthermore, grabbing the baton right when Rick started to slow down, Joseph Anderson has made the bucket hat an outright staple of his personal disc golf brand.

Still, not everyone can pull off a bucket hat.

Trust me …

I know firsthand.

Immediately following Slick Rick’s impressive takedown of the 2022 Dynamic Discs Open, I made it a point to acquire a bucket hat of my own. My birthday is near the end of April, which coincides beautifully with the wrapping up of Emporia’s hottest (and perhaps only) major event.

So when somebody asked what I wanted for my birthday after forgetting to get me something the week prior, as far as my mind was concerned, the answer couldn’t have been more clear …

“One bucket hat, please.”

More specifically, THIS one …

I didn’t want something with disc golf branding. I didn’t want it to look like Ricky’s, either. I graduated from Brigham Young University. And camouflage is cool – I think it is, at least.

I figured this would get the job done …

It didn’t.

I didn’t think the odd-ball lid alone would have me hucking 400-foot sidearms, à la Señor Wysocki, but I didn’t expect it to hurt my game, either. Evidence of my mental midget-ness, I seriously struggled to focus on my game with the hat on my head. I wasn’t embarrassed by it, but it was so obviously NOT me, that I felt awkward in it – this didn’t help the hurling of my discs.

Also, whether under my head or draped over my back, the cinchable chin-string whipped around like a rag-doll with every tug of the disc. And when it was windy, the hat unexpectedly doubled as a parachute. Sure, it was a fun experiment and all, but at the end of the day, it wasn’t for me.

I’ll stick with my boring ol’ fitteds and snapbacks, thank you very kindly.

Maybe I’ll try again in another decade or two.

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