Disc golf: Hanging discs on a wall is cringe

I don’t remember the potty-training process.

All I know is what my parents have shared with me.

Apparently, in my case, the thing that made the whole concept click was Superman underwear. Only, instead of wearing my Superman underwear the way it was meant to be worn, I insisted upon rocking it backwards. That way, I could see the Superman design intended for the back.

It was at this point my parents knew I was destined for greatness …

GIPHY

At the time, I thought the move was brilliant. It was the best of both worlds: I had control over my bowels, and I could take a quick peek at Superman whenever I wanted. As a 30-something with children of my own to potty-train, however, only now do I realize how dumb it was …

I view hanging discs on walls the same way.

Similar to toddler Lucas’ bum-huggers, when used (and stored) as designed, they’re NOT readily available for viewing. Instead, acceptable by sane people’s standards, they’re tucked away remotely in a bag or on a shelf somewhere in a back closet or dark storage room.

It’s the voluntary act of removing them from storage and hanging them up for random admiration as if they were framed medical degrees that keeps – and embarrassingly, might I add – with the superhero-underwear theme a younger, more innocent me thought was the epitome of cool.

DGPT: Chandler Kramer

The main difference, of course, is that my visual obsession with a costumed Clark Kent took place as a two-year-old, whereas the majority of disc-obsessed decorators are full-grown men.

Dads. Beards. Testosterone.

You know the type.

Spell it out with me:

“C-R-I-N-G-E”

Don’t get me wrong: There ARE acceptable reasons for this kind of decor. Ken Climo could easily get away with it. Paul McBeth has clearance, as well. And rumor has it James Conrad has a disc in his possession worth sharing with house (or van) guests, should the opportunity arise.

But the weekend warrior with a Star Destroyer he can barely flex 275 feet?

I don’t care how patient your wife is …

Keep it private.

DGPT: Cole Redalen

Fine art and family photos belong on walls – toys belong on shelves.

That’s all there is to it.

Leave the interior decorating (and insider trading) to Martha Stewart …

Stick to disc golf.

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Lucas Miller

Lucas Miller is the founder and editor-in-chief of Green Splatter. When he’s not out tossing a Champion Rhyno in his native Utah, he’s watching true-crime documentaries with his wife, wrestling his twin boys and praying the Oklahoma City Thunder’s rebuild passes quickly.

26 thoughts on “Disc golf: Hanging discs on a wall is cringe”

  1. Well man I think you get a lot of crap on this site for some of your articles and a lot of it totally unwarranted. But it seems like with this one you’re just trying to stir the pot. I hang mine on my wall in a spare bedroom not to display or for any viewing pleasure. It’s because I pack my bag based on what course I’m going to play. Therefore having the disc readily visible makes it easier for me to pick the changes for the next course. I have somewhere between 2 and 300 discs and I have plenty of stacks sitting around but to be able to view my main players really simplifies the process

    Reply
    • 300 discs?!?!

      Good gravy, Joseph …

      That’s incredible.

      Ever thought about selling off some of ’em?

      Or, is collecting part of the thrill?

      Reply
      • I would love to sell some, don’t have anyone to buy them. To be fair about 40 or so are ones I have found and another 20 or so that have been given to me. I play 5 or 6 days a week, discs beat in quick at that pace. I retire at least a few per year into the throw over water stack. Plus gotta have backups. And I like to try different discs

        Reply
  2. My son used to wear his Bob the Builder underwear backwards for the same reason as your Superman. At the time, I thought he was pretty genius. Now he is 15 and there are many years of evidence that he is not… Luckily, he has not taken to hanging any discs other than one he uses to collect autographs.

    Reply
  3. I’m guilty of one, my first ace. My main bag rarely leaves my trunk though, and my overflow sits huddled in the garage creating a kind of apartment complex for a ton of spiders.

    Reply
  4. Well the only thing that would bring any money are probably my 150 g flat top star Firebirds. Managed to stumble on a few a few years ago and bought them all. Wouldn’t sell them for the world though. Got a couple of Sexton Firebirds but hanging on to those as well. I don’t buy discs to collect I buy them to try and use. Typically I’ll throw them a few times decide I don’t like them and they go into the pile. Mainly just stuff like first run Royal grace, a lot of prodigy drivers that I didn’t like, of course high speed stuff that’s out of my league.

    Reply
  5. I have my ace discs on a plate hanger…on a piece of wall too thin for any art. My wife likes to point it out to visitors… She’s a keeper.

    Reply
  6. Hahaha, I love this. I’m as big a fanatic as they come, and I really don’t look down on people for it, but it always makes me think “oh man, some girl is really going to embarrass you at some point.”

    Reply
  7. Gotta comment…I have a “Squadron” Of Lightning Discs that hung on the Wall at the Top Gun School in Miramar…I brought them Home and hang them proudly with the rest of my Mint, unused Lightning Discs…after all, they’re antiques and deserved to be displayed, dontcha think?

    Plus, I’m with the School of if it Aced it gets retired/displayed!

    Although I still hurl my Old School Lightning Discs…have a bag full that weren’t hung on the walls…they still rock after all these years! WELL seasoned, ya might say!

    Reply
  8. TLDNR

    Yeah this article is cringe. It’s as if the disc golf scene was getting boring so fk it just stir the pot. Who cares what people do? Honestly, I don’t think you care, I think you’re just looking for something to talk about.

    Reply

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