Dear picnicker: Don’t eat in the middle of a disc golf fairway

Everyone is welcome to disc golf.

This is a message I can get behind.

That doesn’t mean I’m pumped to see “everyone” at the course, though.

The following groups aren’t my favorites:

• Slow-moving couples.
• Massive church youth groups.
• Slack-line enthusiasts between trees.

Still, at a public park, they have just as much right to be there as I do – there’s no getting around it. However, there’s yet another group that has really started to grind my gears this summer …

Mid-fairway picnickers.

I get it …

Not all public parks are huge.

But the ones that house 18-hole disc golf courses aren’t small, by any means. So if you arrive on the scene with a red-checkered blanket, a picnic basket and a mess of kids, go out of your way to find a slice of real estate that’s not going to continuously be bombed by skull-seeking golf discs.

You’ll be happier. The disc golfers around you will be happier. And hands-down, most important of all, nobody’s going to get hurt. Now whether or not you knew disc golf was near you, here’s what to NOT do after setting up your picnic gear in the middle of a fairway …

First, don’t get tough and cop an attitude when incoming disc golfers tell you you’re not in a great place for a picnic, choosing instead to “ride it out” until you’ve wrapped up your meal.

And second, assuring nearby disc golfers every five seconds that you’re “watching” is nice, but not all of them are as skilled with a disc as they’d like to be – or as you think they are, perhaps.

This includes yours truly.

As an amateur, this much I know: Disc golf with an audience is tough, even if that audience is little more than a pair of college-aged lovebirds making the most of a sunny Saturday afternoon. 

Embarrassment is one thing. It sucks, but I can live with it. But if someone’s watching me throw, and then, without warning, I still nearly hit them with a beveled-edge disc, I die a tiny bit inside.

Please, I beg of you …

Just move.

Most public parks have picnic tables sprinkled around the grounds in non-lethal areas. And if the thought of a literal bench and table isn’t “rugged” enough for you and your bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, simply set up camp on the ground near one, and you should be good to go.

Better yet, after lunch, grab a disc (or three) and hit the course yourself.

You’ll see where I’m coming from.

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Editor’s Suggestions:

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