Gripe No. 73: Jeremy Koling getting oddly specific with distance estimates

“Gripe” posts are my favorites.

That’s probably because they’re some of the most polarizing. It’s not that I’m looking to ruffle feathers or anything, but people read them. As a mediocre writer, that’s all I can ask for …

I’m at peace with it.

Anyway, as of late, I’ve felt many of my Gripe articles have lacked some of the next-level pettiness for which they’ve quickly become infamous in recent years. Bogeys, lost discs and backups on the disc golf course are all widely relatable annoyances, which is totally great.

However, they’re missing the blatant smallness with which I’d like them to be associated. Basically, I want disc golfers to stomach read these things and silently think to themselves …

“Seriously? This guy doesn’t have more important things to worry about?”

To answer that question, yes …

I do.

But I much prefer to look the other way on life’s many pressing responsibilities to blog about stupid stuff online in the presence of an AI-powered search engine that’s slowly killing my craft.

Enter today’s topic, stage left …

Jeremy Koling.

Overall, I’ve got no problem with the guy as a player or JomezPro commentator. Without question, there’s no sexier sidearm in all of disc golf. And in the booth, he does a great job of combining first-hand insights with humor. I’m even high on his signature series Star AviarX3.

But it’s from the “booth” he frequently does something that drives me bonkers …

And it shouldn’t.

Koling gets oddly specific with distance estimates on the putting green. Whether it’s after a disc comes to rest within putting range or a player is presented on camera preparing for a short shot, without any prompting from an on-screen, JomezPro-produced measurement graphic, BigJerm will throw out seemingly random numbers to give viewers at home an idea of the distance …

• “McBeth is left with 11 feet.”
• “That’ll curl up nicely to 17 feet.”
• “She’s got a solid 23 feet to the pin.”
• “At 32 feet left to go, not a bad result.”

Where on Earth is he getting these numbers?

Making a knee-jerk estimate, a normal person would opt for 10 feet, 15 feet and 25 feet. And for that last one, given circle’s edge is 33 feet, that’d make the most sense. I mean, the dude’s not got a Bushnell on him back in the trailer, so why does he spout of exact numbers like he does?

It’s too confident. It’s too definitive.

Seriously, if he can’t dial this thing back, it won’t be long before decimals and fractions make an unwelcome appearance. And yes, he’s a professional disc golfer, so if anybody knows what a 14-foot putt looks like, it’s him. Still, I’m not impressed. Pay attention: You’ll notice it, too.

Then, we can share this dumb burden together.

Lift where you stand.

Have anything to add? Take to X to let us know – we’ll actually (for real) get back to you.

Editor’s Suggestions:

• What is technically ‘parked’ in disc golf?
• What does ‘circle in regulation’ mean in disc golf?
• The bounceback birdie: What it is, and why it matters in disc golf

Real quick, if you happen to buy something through a link in this article, there’s a chance we’ll get a small share of the sale. It’s how we keep the lights on. To learn more, click here.