This isn’t a post about the efficacy of caddies in disc golf.
It’s a post about how incapable I am of playing well with one.
I’ve tried before; I imagine I’ll try again.
Having run this experiment multiple times, however, trust me …
It won’t work.
Random, but related …
Do you have a person who comes to help clean your house?
Currently, I don’t. But growing up, every other week, my family did. My dad worked long hours and was frequently out of town on business. My mom stayed home to keep us kids in check. Her plate was overflowing with stuff, so when Marta came around, she welcomed the support.
Even as a 15-year-old without a care for anybody but myself, I hated it. I was a complete and total slob but two days a month – the pair of afternoons Marta swung by the house for some deep cleaning. Even though it was her profession, I felt my filthiness was a sign of disrespect towards her. Because of this, I’d prepare for her arrival by straightening up my room and bathroom.
What’s more, once she’d started cleaning, I couldn’t relax. It’s hard to kick-back and watch television in good conscience while someone (literally) vacuums under your feet …
Tool move.
Can you relate?
THIS is how having a caddie makes me feel.
I was perfectly capable of cleaning up after myself, yet mommy had to bring somebody onboard to make up for what I neglected to do – at least, in part. Similarly, I can carry my own disc golf bag, towel-down wet or muddy discs and put them back in their rightful place. To volunteer someone to act as a personal packing mule for me is more than I can comfortably bear.
And for nothing more than a sunburn.
Care to up the ante on my caddie-driven discomfort?
Put a woman on my bag.
Before you fly off the rails, I fully acknowledge women can do everything men can – and much (much) more. But the lone time I let my ex-girlfriend tote my gear around the course for 18 holes, I felt like a jerk. Like I’d refused to open the door for her or lend her my hoodie.
In case you were wondering, no …
This is NOT a feeling conducive to putting well.
Bring on the back pain.
Let me work-through the yips on my own.
And for what it’s worth, I’ll monitor UDisc, myself.
But caddies?
Hard pass.
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Editor’s Suggestions:
- Disc golf: Throw discs for your arm speed (it’s more fun)
- Gripe No. 40: Aggressive, fake-out practice swings in disc golf
- Disc golf: How to quickly familiarize yourself with a manufacturer’s discs
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